Rant

My friend leaves tomorrow for basic and I am distraught. I know it isn’t true but I feel like I won’t see him again. Maybe it is true idk. I feel angry.. angry that I didn’t get to see him before he goes and angry that he’s been too busy to talk to me. I’m jealous of everyone who has gotten the chance to see him. Especially this last week for his birthday…. a person put up a picture of him on facebook and it started this whole rollercoaster of feelings. My heart hurts. I feel lost like i’m losing my best friend and that things will never be the same. Which, they definitely won’t be. I’ve spent all of my extra time watching Army Wives and sleeping. I feel depressed and lonely but mostly angry.

I had been writing him letters even though he hadn’t even left. I’ve waited up to talk to him but he couldn’t make time for me..I’m angry that i’m trapped into missing him. Even if we weren’t talking I would still feel this way. It infuriates me that I can’t control that and no matter where I am or who i’m with or what i’m doing I will miss him. My entire life is going to be about missing him. I don’t know what to do.